One simple shift that strengthens your parent-child relationship

How was school? It’s our automatic response when reunited with our children at the end of the day, a habitual question that elicits a standard reply- "fine."

When you ask your child how school was, you’re asking them to make a judgement. Asking why has a similar effect, e.g., why do you like Minecraft? (Because it’s fun). Why do you chew icebreakers? (Because they’re good), etc. You get a response, but you don’t learn anything specific about them or their day.

Truly connecting and deepening our understanding of our children's experiences requires more effort than asking how or why. Instead of settling for surface-level conversations, we can embrace a more thoughtful approach. By asking them for specific details about their day, we can unlock a treasure trove of insights and emotions.

There’s a method for that.

Instead of asking your child how their day went, invite them to Storythink. Lean into the first 4 of what journalists call the 5 Ws: who, what, where, and when.

Reserve the why.

Who did you sit with during library? What song did you sing in music? Where did you play during recess? When did you feel excited?

The stories will roll. Your connection will deepen. You’ll both feel stronger.

You’ll get an idea of how their day went, without ever asking how or why.

Pro tip: try reserving the why with your spouses, colleagues, and friends. What do you learn? How do you feel?